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Saturday, February 25, 2012

Ok, so I need some advice....SENSITIVE FAMILY TOPIC!

I didn't know where else to voice my opinion AND concerns so I thought I would blog about it.  I want to start off by saying...why in the world do people have kids if they don't want to take the time to raise them?  I have a family member that had raised her kids pretty well UNTIL this last year.  She has 4 kids total. Her 14 year old daughter and 15 year old son have become a challenge to raise.  They have dabbled into drugs and promiscuity.  Her oldest daughter has moved out of the house and the 17 year old son is now a dad and is still living at home.

Wait, let me give you a little history of their lives up until this point.  Back when her daughter was 3 and her son was 4, their dad came home one night under the influence of narcotics and beat them for no reason.  He was placed on probation just to, later on, violate it and wound up spending 11 years in the penitentiary.

A little history about their dad:

He is an alcoholic and addicted to all sorts of drugs.  He ended up molesting his 12 year old step daughter; she is now 23.  Absolutely nothing was done!  A promise to never do it again was the reason why the mother didn't press charges.

After his 11 year stint in prison,was released June of last year, he seemed to be doing pretty good.  Well, mommy decided that she no longer wanted to deal with the stress of her teenagers so she sends the 14 and 15 old to live with their dad!  I was appalled, to say the least.  How can you send your kids with that man?  "Ok, maybe he changed" is what I kept telling myself...over and over again.  He allowed his kids to smoke weed and drink and  his excuse was that as long as they are doing it at home, they were safe and he was fine with it.  Oh, forgot to mention that the mom allows her kids to stay out all night and their boy and girlfriends are allowed to sleep over...WHAT??!!

Let me rewind for just a second....after the dad was released from prison, his daughter decided she wanted a relationship with him. At some point, she actually fell in love with her dad...BLOOD dad.  To her, he wasn't in her life so she did not see him as her dad. What the h*ll!!  Did mommy take her to counseling you ask???  NO, no she did not!  After all of that, she STILL sent her to her dad to live.

The kids have since moved back with their mom but now their mom is going to take them and move to MEXICO when her boyfriend is released from jail.  Mind you, she has only known this man for about 3 months.  Two of those months he's been in jail!!!

I'm a mother of 3 and I can NOT understand how a mother can make one bad decision after another.  I will protect my children at ALL costs!! Nothing comes before my kids safety.  You know, I was a horrible teenager...did horrible things to my mother and you know what???  She NEVER gave up on me.  She was ALWAYS there.  I know she was stressed and even severely depressed but it never stopped her from doing her duty as a mom and she always did it with LOVE!  I'm not a perfect mom by no means, but would NEVER put my kids through what that woman has put her kids through!

I've been told to stay out of it and mind my business but how can I?  How can I just stand back and watch all of this happen, I just don't know what to do.

I would love to know what you would do if you were in my situation.... I desperately need some opinions.

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Kat of EmKatCreations said...

Oh wow... I can not even begin to imagine being in that situation. I would like to believe I could be strong enough to make a call to CPS about the younger ones to try and protect them from the drug use.

mmbear said...

How close is this family member and whose side of the family are we talking about? Yours or your husband's? And old how are the two younger ones? Before I tell you something I need to know those answers because the options will be different given those answers. You can email me so it is not all played out here on your blog for everyone to read.


bohohippiemom said...

They are not your children and as much as you want to do something, there isn't much you really can do, except report it to protective services. You really have no legal say in the matter because you are not their parent or grandparent. Call and make the report, tell protective services you are in fear for these children and feel they are in danger. Urge them to act quickly.

Sarah Marie said...

I agree with boho, you can pray and report abuse/neglect to authorities as needed. In addition, you can ALWAYS inform teachers/principals (more emphasis on the principals of what is going on. They might not be able to discuss any matter with you, or anything related to the children. But you telling them is enough. They will be on watch, even if you get no response from them, and they are all mandated reporters to authorities. Keep praying.

Rebecca R said...

Mary, I've emailed you.

DrPepperDiva said...

I agree with boho and Sarah. You can't legally do a whole lot because you're not their parent or guardian. I would report the situation though and pray for them. That's about all you can do.

Katherine Phillips said...

I agree. Report it to cps that's the only thing ypi can do.


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